Plumber, I am not

Do not hire me to do your plumbing. Don’t ask me to do it as a favor. You will regret it the rest of your faucet’s life. I have just installed two taps, one in the bathroom and one in the kitchen. I messed up the pipes under the bathroom sink so now they leak and the kitchen tap doesn’t work at all because things just didn’t fit together and other things were rusted together so that which should fit together didn’t. A real plumber is coming out tomorrow to fix all this (I hope.) I have cursed like never before. I barely recognized myself from the profanities that flew from my mouth as I was driving back from my second trip to the U-Plumb-It store.
To make matters worse, my mother has stolen my batch of chocolate chip cookies to keep me from drowning my sorrows in Nestle goodness. She cut me off, man, said no more cookies for today. How pathetic am I? Please don’t answer that.