Ms. Swiss strikes again

My last name literally means Swiss. If you want to walk a minute in my shoes, imagine yourself (an American, Canadian, Australian, what have you) living in Switzerland and introducing yourself as Ms. Swiss. Or from another perspective imagine a foreigner saying to you in a broken accent, I’m Ms. American, Ms. Canadian, Ms. Australian, Ms. Insert-nationality-here. It’s a good joke and I can laugh easily with other foreigners over it. Oh but Saturday I went to get my hair cut and they always charge me for styling even though I say over and over again, don’t style it. This place charges per service so when they ask you if you want a moisturizing conditioner (extra!) just say nothing special, whatever’s normal. When they ask if you want mousse then for god’s sake say no and get out of the chair as soon as possible if you still want to have enough money to eat next week. On Saturday they once again styled my hair after I said no fewer than five times, no styling. And for my part I can’t tell at what point it goes beyond drying and into styling, I’m a lost cookie.
I go to pay and see the charge for styling. By this point the hairdresser and I switched to speaking English because even though I continually answered her questions in German during the cut, she either wants to practice English or she, being German not Swiss, can’t stand the sound of my High German and is bound and determined I don’t utter one more word. So I ask the woman, who is by the way the boss of the shop, what is the difference between drying and styling and WHAT DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT I DON’T GET STYLED!?! Apparently if I say that I DON’T want STYLING, they’re all a-titter from hearing the word styling and the negating part (no, none, won’t be having any) has been cancelled. I have to say BLOW DRY ONLY in order to avoid the EXTENDED BLOW DRYING MIX.
After I cleared this all up with the boss I ask her last name so that next time I can greet her properly. (Don’t I fit in so well? Ha.) There is a row of ladies waiting for their turns, watching this entire interaction. As the boss then asks me my name and I say Schweizer and walk out the door, laughter ensues.

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