Prepare yourselves

I believe the alien invasion is at hand. There are some bizarre, heavy vibrations coming from my upstairs neighbor’s, and they’re not the like-totally-heavy-man kind. I’ve ruled out that they’re polishing the floor because who would do that at 8:22 in the evening in Switzerland? Certainly not the 70-something-year-old couple upstairs. It’s got to be aliens.
Alas, alack, I have no weapons or welcoming gifts — I’m fresh out of chocolate and cowbells, but I do have a few old Swiss army knives. See you on the ship.

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