Okay, perhaps this is more ice milk than ice cream, but throw together a pint of milk (even low percent will do), a quarter to half a cup of sugar depending on your level of desired coma, and some vanilla. Freeze and stir every hour until slushy enough to eat. It will harden into one solid mass* which is actually good because then you have to work harder to shave the top off and achieve sugar bliss.
*I smooth the surface down before it completely freezes for easier scraping. The fluffy look in the photo was done so you wouldn’t judge me as much.