“of course you did”

You don’t need to hear how I smeared peanut butter* on the back of my head. No, you really don’t: the act is so much more prosaic than the result. Telling you would just spoil it.

What you should hear is The Fella’s telling response to it.

Just surfacing softly out of sleep, he turned to me. I murmured “Good morning, monkeybaby, how di— oh, crap, I just got peanut butter* in my hair!”

Without a pause, he nodded sagely. “Of course you did.”

Though this particular event is unprecedented, you see, the spirit of the event has become quite familiar to him in the almost two years we’ve lived together.

*I’m not sure why I said “peanut butter” instead of the more accurate “cashew butter”: whether at the moment of exclaiming I actually forgot it wasn’t peanut butter, whether I thought his sleep-addled brain would stumble over the notion of cashew butter, or whether my internal comedy writer, who never rests, instinctively knew that peanut butter was funnier… which it is.


4 thoughts on ““of course you did”

  1. Check the timestamp, baby — I may well have posted this even before you read the email.
    And as for outing myself: oh, like it’s any secret I’m the kind of person who smears her head with peanut butter, falls off her own shoes, and gags herself with her Mai Tai’s decorative parasol. Okay, I’ve never yet done the last, but the summer is only half over.

  2. I read the email the second it came in because I happened to have my email open, so based on that timestamp, I read it and formed my opinion that you’d tell this story on yourself before you posted this by a good 25 minutes.
    I WIN.
    Or something.

  3. Huh — Gmail thinks I sent the email almost an hour before I posted this, and I would’ve guessed so, too.
    That said, it’s worth mentioning that I always have to correct my posting time; the blog clock runs on Elli’s formerly local time, which puts it… let’s see… 13 and a half (and a half? yes!) hours ahead of my local time. I don’t thiiiiiink I over-corrected, stamping the post for an hour before the besmearing, but it’s certainly possible. Maybe I should go ahead and post the as-yet-nonexistent Mai Tai parasol incident, in anticipation!
    Wait, what?

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