an ever-fixèd mark

In brief, since I do
purpose to marry, I will think nothing to any
purpose that the world can say against it; and
therefore never flout at me for what I have said
against it; for man is a giddy thing, and this is my

It’s true! The Fella and I are making it official: we’re engaged to be married.

In the recent months, The Fella and I have had some discussions about us, about marriage, about commitment and family and forever. We had come to a happy, informal understanding about The Future.

And then, as he always does, he managed to surprise me.

Amazing: after our earnest talks, and with our future equitably (and, some would say, unromantically) decided between us, the moment retained a luster of surprise and magic.

After he proposed, a moment passed while I silently gawped and got teary-eyed…

.. and then I noticed that he was anxiously awaiting the answer.

I suppose that, in the deep recesses of my brain, I thought the balanced, intelligent decisions we had made along the way would strip the sparkle from the moment. It delights me no end to see how wrong I was. In the moment, all our sensible talk washed away, leaving only sensibilities: I was stunned, and he was nervous.

Love is crazy.

For Gaoo, who is sure to ask: the opening blockquote is Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing, and the title is from Shakespeare’s sonnet 116:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixèd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me prov’d,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.

Its aptness for us is hard to overstate: so far, our relationship has unwaveringly weathered death*, depression, illnesses and traumas of varying degrees, chronic pain (and its attendent crankiness), post-traumatic stress disorder, richness, poorness, something borrowed, something blue… oh, wait.

If it’s feasible to work sonnet 116 into our vows, believe me, it will be done — not only to acknowledge the love of Shakespeare that finally brought us together, but because I would dearly love to intone “Edge! Of! Doom!” during the ceremony.

*Um. Not ours. Obviously.

10 thoughts on “an ever-fixèd mark

  1. I totally did not–repeat NOT–get a little teary-eyed at reading this or anything. No way. Nuh-uh.
    Congratulations! Yaaaaay!

  2. Yay! Congratulations again and again! (And now I can’t accidentally spill the beans. Whew.)

  3. Elsa, congratulations and best wishes. It will be fun to watch you make your wedding plans.

  4. Happy Birthday to you.
    Happy Birthday to you-u-u!
    Happy Birthday dear Elsa & Elli
    Happy Birthday to you-u-u-u!!!
    Yes! To both of you 20th & 24th!!! Yea!!!!
    Love and kisses.
    TR & Ulla

  5. Elsa, congrats to The Fella on a great catch.
    Does that block of cheeze count as one serving, or do they trick us with a package of like 100 servings in the box?
    Nan and I melt ours in the microwave after adding Ro-Tel tomatoes and a handful of ‘penos.
    It helps to have a Paddy’s Perfect Frozen Margarita to wash it down.

  6. Thanks, all! The Fella and I appreciate your kind thoughts.
    Paddy, I can’t answer your question, because The Fella gave away our left-over Velveeta! gasp! So I don’t have access to the nutritional info from the package.
    I did notice that the recipe page describes a serving as 2 tablespoons. Yeah, right.

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