curb appeal

Looking into real estate? Don’t overlook the useful resources to be found at It’s Lovely! I’ll Take It!, where you can find gems like:
a Photoshop phantasy tour;
– a NYC studio with
seXXy mottos and song titles emblazoned stuck on the walls (potentially NSFW, and tragically halfhearted);
– a housefront adorned with mattresses, and a prominent warning of transients on site (note the plural: “transients“);
– an ominous gathering of clouds over the presumably doomed listing.
Once you’ve splurged on your new property, no doubt you’ll be looking to save on the furnishings. Check out Vintage Microwave, a site reviewing selections from Craiglist’s free section. VM’s motto: “Free may not be cheap enough.” They’re not wrong. Is nothing too much to pay for:
a badly burned, partially melted, quite rusty moped?
a mangle!?!
a filthy decade-old trampoline riddled with holes and missing some springs?
– everything you need to set up your own naughty* nurse’s exam room? And I mean everything, including a hospital bed, four — count ’em, four! — dirty old medical lounges, an old colposcope, at least seven and possibly eight expired enema kits, assorted unspecified “sophisticated surgical equipment”, and an outdated but still functional X-ray machine. Old-fashioned X-rays for everyone, YAAAAAAAY!
*where “naughty” may extend to include “criminally insane.”

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