A few embarrassingly obvious things I’ve discovered today, this week, and this month:
– When you make coffee, it’s important to include the coffee.
– Duct tape and Duck Tape differ in thickness, texture, and stickiness.
– Do not keep reading that Chuck Palahniuk book if you ever plan to have sex again.
– Related: that one good “guilty pleasure” Stephen King book I keep thinking of — the pulpy page-turner that gives me the chills, cracks me up, and never makes me cringe in scalding embarrassment for the author? Yeah, he never wrote one of those.
– I can watch Kubrick’s The Shining over and over and over and over again, forever. And ever. And ever.
– Ow, that’s hot!
– Canned lentil soup tastes like clean woolen socks. But definitely like used clean socks, not new ones.
– If you do a little happy dance upon discovering the laundromat is open on Labor Day, you are: a) a bit of a weirdo; b) not a staunch supporter of unions; or c) desperately behind on your laundry duty. In my case, it’s a little from column a) and a little from column c).
– Dude. Haunted puppets are not scary. (I mean, in a short film. In real life, they’d be pretty scary.)
– I do not like to think about real-life haunted puppets.
– Sniff the milk before you splosh a whole lot of it in, not as you splosh it in.
– Yikes, that’s sharp!
– Hey, that stinks. Hey, what is that? Oh, it’s — Oh! OH! Eugh.
– A pot rack can only hold so many pots.
– Related: those winged plastic screw anchors? Yeah, you have to buy those by size. You can’t just, y’know, buy one and expect it to fit.
– Some tasks that seem to be about finesse really do require brute force, too.
– Well, that was a bad idea.