Thanks to a chance remark from The Fella, I am now trying to imagine a Michael Bay remake of Casablanca. I assume that Rick and Victor would resolve their conflict with a round of motorcycle chicken, that the pivotal airport scene would take place at sunset with lots of slo-mo close-ups and with at least one burning plane in the background, and that the troubles of three little people wouldn’t add up to a hill of BOMBS in this crazy world.

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