Y’know, I don’t think you are sorry.
me: … so I put it on my Tumblr and—
The Fella: You don’t have a Tumblr.
The Fella: …
me: I’ve had a Tumblr for, like, a year and a half.
The Fella: You have a WordPress.
me: And I have a Tumblr. So I wrote it up on WordPress, then added it to my Tumblr and linked the Tumblr entry to the WordPress entry. And I should probably link the Tumblr entry back to the WordPress to close the loop.
The Fella: You have a Tumblr?
me: I have a Tumblr. I sometimes link my articles there, but I mostly use it for Social Justice Warrior stuff and cat gifs.
The Fella: You have a Tumblr.
me: I have a Tumblr. All those times I showed you silly cat videos from my Tumblr feed, you thought…?
The Fella: I thought you went to Tumblr.
me: Yeah, I have a Tumblr.
The corker: This conversation was about a post in which I made fun of men who don’t know women lead independent existences. If you’d like to know more about my independent existence, see my contact info on my about me page.
Soooo, we’re just straight-up living in Night Vale, right?
[image from The Toast]
He could not vary the length of his utterance and he could not cow himself to the laws of punctuating or naming for the ease of some imagined imaginary reader. It was cold in the writers room and he would make no fire. No fire to warm his cold hands where the skin cracked and bled against the typewriter keys, no fire to warm his heart to any but the white man who stood all but nameless at the center of his story, a pole on which the gaunt remnants of a person draped in the sepulchral twilight as the sun went down. Went down for the last time maybe, he didnt know.
I like big muscles and red corpuscles
I like a beautiful hunk o’ man
[Dorothy Shaw (Jane Russell) and nameless Olympian from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes number “Ain’t There Anyone Here For Love?”]
Double-checking a Walt Whitman quote, I type into Google “I contain m-“; Google autofills “-arshmallows.” Yup, that checks out.
Do I chocolate-coat myself?
Very well then I chocolate-coat myself,
(I am large, I contain marshmallows.)